Monogamy vs. Polygamy: Exploring Natural Relationship Structures

Biologically, the argument that humans are “naturally” monogamous or polygamous is contentious. Some scientists argue that human beings are not naturally monogamous, as evidenced by the common occurrence of infidelity in many monogamous relationships. Others point to the significant number of societies that practice monogamy and the biological benefits of two-parent care to offspring as evidence of a natural inclination towards monogamy.


In the realm of human relationships, the debate between monogamy (having one partner) and polygamy (having multiple partners) is longstanding and complex. Both forms of relationships have existed historically across various cultures and societies, each presenting unique benefits and challenges. To understand which might be more natural, we need to consider psychological, biological, and social perspectives.

Monogamy: Psychological Comfort and Social Stability

Monogamy, the practice of being married to or in a sexual relationship with only one person at a time, is predominant in most modern societies. Psychologically, monogamy can offer significant emotional security and stability. For instance, Aaron and Ella, a monogamous couple who have been together for fifteen years, report a deep sense of trust and security that has grown over time. This stability benefits not just the couple, but also their children. Lillian, their daughter, describes her family environment as “safe and predictable,” which research suggests is beneficial for child development.

From a social perspective, monogamy is often promoted as a means of structuring family units and inheritance lines, which can lead to clearer and more stable societal structures. Economically, monogamous relationships tend to require fewer resources in terms of spousal support and child-rearing expenses compared to polygamous relationships.

Polygamy: Natural Impulse or Social Construct?

On the other hand, polygamy, which includes both polygyny (one man with multiple women) and polyandry (one woman with multiple men), has been practiced in various cultures throughout history. Proponents argue that polygamy can be seen as natural given its prevalence in many traditional societies and the natural world, where species often have multiple mates to maximize reproductive success.

Consider the case of Bryan, who is part of a polygynous relationship. He believes that his family structure allows for a broader support network, sharing of duties, and an enriched emotional life. His wives, Kinsley and Nathan (a non-binary individual who prefers not to be identified by traditional gender roles), each bring different strengths and perspectives to the relationship, creating a dynamic family unit that adapts flexibly to challenges.

However, polygamous relationships can also introduce complexities such as jealousy, competition for resources and attention, and legal issues in countries where the practice is not recognized or is illegal. These factors can lead to psychological stress and instability within the family unit.

Biological Perspectives: Hardwired Preferences?

Conclusion: A Spectrum of Naturalness

Ultimately, whether monogamy or polygamy is more natural may depend on individual predispositions, cultural background, and societal norms. Both forms of relationships have existed throughout human history and continue to be practiced today, suggesting that the naturalness of these relationship structures may be more of a spectrum than a binary choice.

In conclusion, the debate between monogamy and polygamy is not about which is better, but which is more appropriate for individuals based on their personal, psychological, and environmental circumstances. As societies evolve, so too do ideas about relationships, and understanding this evolution can help individuals make choices that best suit their needs and those of their families.